Parenting Parents: A Guide to Adult Caregiving

Caring for aging parents is a journey filled with love, challenges and, at times, a fair bit of exasperation.

If you’re one of the many adults stepping into the role of caregiver, you’re likely experiencing a range of emotions, from pride in helping your parents to feeling overwhelmed by the responsibilities that come with it. Let’s explore some of the unique challenges adult caregivers face, as well as resources that can help lighten the load.

The Weight of Responsibility

Taking charge of your parents’ care can be daunting. You might find yourself managing their health issues, coordinating appointments or even assisting with daily activities like cooking and cleaning. It’s important to recognize that these responsibilities can be both emotionally and physically taxing. Adult caregivers often face:

1. Time Constraints: Balancing work, family, and caregiving duties can feel like a juggling act. Caregivers who work full-time jobs while also tending to their parents’ needs are particularly vulnerable to stress and burnout.
2. Emotional Strain: Watching your parents age can bring about feelings of sadness, even as you strive to provide them with the best care. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed, frustrated or dejected.
3. Financial Concerns: The costs associated with aging can add up quickly, from healthcare expenses to home modifications. Understanding how to navigate insurance and financial planning is crucial.
4. Role Reversal: Transitioning to being a caregiver can be a complex emotional journey. You may find it challenging to shift from being your parents’ child to taking charge of their well-being.

Prioritizing Your Well-being

As you embark on this journey, taking care of yourself is just as important as caring for your parents. Make time for self-care, whether that means finding a hobby, exercising, or simply taking a moment to breathe.

Connecting with other caregivers can be invaluable. Sharing your feelings, seeking advice or just enjoying the company of those who understand your challenges can make a significant difference.

Fortunately, there are numerous resources available to assist caregivers and their senior parents. Here are some helpful options:

Resources in the Canton Public Library Collections

Aging With Care by Amanda Lambert and Leslie Eckford. The authors, two geriatric care experts, explore the essential credentials and experience a home caregiver should have, pitfalls to avoid, hiring options, cost management and the decisions that go into finding the right fit for your loved one to be able to age in place.

The Caregiver's Encyclopedia by Muriel R. Gillick. This comprehensive reference for family caregivers provides a variety of information, from making major medical decisions to avoiding burnout.

Caregiver's Survival Guide by Robert Yonover. Tips and guidelines from the author’s own experiences and other experts will show you how to help make a caregiving situation survivable.

Dignity for Deeply Forgetful People by Stephen Garrard Post. Learn about a new ethics guideline for caregivers of "deeply forgetful people" and a program on how to communicate and connect based on 30 years of community dialogues through Alzheimer's organizations across the globe.

Eldercare 101 by Marj Jo Saavedra. This easy-to-understand guide for families in need of help as they care for their aging loved ones explores "6 pillars of aging wellbeing" (legal, financial, living environment, social, medical and spiritual). Each pillar is explored by an expert who provides best practices and tips for evaluating choices, making decisions, and living well.

The Family Caregiver's Manual by David Levy. Family caregiving expert David Levy explains how to evaluate priorities, understand options and face bedrock issues (legal, financial, emotional, social) so caregivers can make wise and informed decisions for their loved ones.

Successfully Navigating your Parents' Senior Years by Star Bradbury. Certified aging life care specialist and CEO of Senior Living Strategies Star Bradbury draws on her 25 years of experience in senior living in this comprehensive guide to navigating the tricky waters of caregiving, starting with putting a plan in place that maximizes your parents' independence while providing them with the support they need.

Taming the Chaos of Dementia by Barbara J. Huelat. The dementia journey for both caregiver and patient can be chaotic and scary. While there is no cure for dementia, there are interventions that can help make the journey a calmer and more comfortable one. Barbara Huelat offers practical strategies to mitigate the turbulence of dementia care.

The Unexpected Journey of Caring by Donna Thomson. Readers won't find well-intentioned clichés or care stereotypes in this book. Instead, this practical guide to finding personal meaning in the 21st century care experience greets caregivers where they are in their journey, not where others expect (or want) them to be.

There are also numerous resources in CPL’s e-book collection.

Local and Online Resources

• Canton Club 55+ Senior Center: This unit of Canton’s Leisure Services offers various programs aimed at seniors and their caregivers, including social activities, assistance programs and informational sessions.
• The Senior Alliance: This organization, which serves western Wayne County and Downriver, provides support for seniors and their caregivers. Its website has a section dedicated to caregiving, including links to support groups and caregiver online forums.
• Wayne County Senior Services: Wayne County provides information about meal delivery options for caregivers, including access to educational materials, respite care options and assistance in finding local services for seniors.
• Henry Ford Health Caregiver Support Groups: This weekly virtual support group meets every Tuesday at 11:00 AM EST. Caregivers aged 18+ are welcome to join in a safe space to share experiences and tips.
• Michigan Department of Health and Human Services: This website offers a wealth of information on caregiving resources, including home help and legal guidance.
• National Alliance for Caregiving: This national organization provides resources, research, and support tailored to caregivers.
• AARP Caregiving Resource Center: AARP offers a plethora of information, from planning and managing care to understanding legal and financial issues related to caregiving.

You Are Not Alone

Caring for aging parents is both a blessing and a challenge. While the journey may be tough, you don’t have to navigate it alone. With the right resources and support, you can provide the best care for your parents while also taking care of your own needs. There are many organizations and support systems eager to help you along the way. Embrace the journey—you’ve got this!